tips=1) Alarm clocks have snooze buttons. Air horns do not. Try waking the kids with a terrifyingly loud blast from an air horn or similar distress device. Their hearts will be racing too fast to fall back asleep. 2) If you need to take the children out of the house, fasten GPS bracelets to their wrists so that you can track their every move. A pair of binoculars also comes in handy when keeping an eye on the troops. 3) Try giving the children code names, like Red Leader or Red Baby. This will make it easier to identify them, especially over a two-way radio. 4) Keep extra diapers with you at all times. Babies are poo factories that operate 24 hours a day with no shame. You never know where you'll be when the baby needs changing. 5) Getting the little ones to take a bath can be difficult. Try explaining to them in disturbing detail the effects of germs and disease on the human body. Use medical pictures if necessary. 6) Candy is the perfect bribe. Promise them chocolate or other sweets in exchange for good behavior. 7) Install a high-tech security system in every room of the house, complete with fingerprint identification and motion-activated surveillance cameras. The looming presence of Big Brother will deter the little ones from getting into mischief. 8) Nothing makes a child sleepier than 100 push-ups. When the kids just won't seem to go to bed, lead them in a rigorous 20-minute workout. 9) If the children want to watch television, make sure it's educational. There are several fine documentaries available to rent at your local video store. 10) Story time is a fun way to keep the little ones occupied for a few hours. You can read them their favorite children's book or choose to tell a story of your own. I like to tell about the time I directed a rescue mission in Serbia. CLICK HERE FOR MORE TIPS!& &--------------------------------------& &activities=1) Board games are one of my favorite babysitting activities. I recommend Risk. Not only is it fun, but it also teaches children the importance of forming strategic alliances. 2) Conduct a fire drill. You can never be too prepared in the event of a disaster. 3) When the weather's nice, I like to take the kids to the playground. The physical activity is good for their health and it's the perfect training ground for future soldiers. Try using a stopwatch to test their performance on the monkey bars. You can also make it a game to see who can reach the top of the rope ladder first. 4) Having a live duck, like Gary, in the house can provide children with endless hours of fun. You can make up games to play with the duck, like ring toss. 5) Arts and crafts are a fine way to keep the children occupied when it's raining outside. It's amazing what you can make with such common household items as string, paper plates, and glue. I made a compass of out macaroni and toothpicks. 6) Another fun activity is face painting. Have the children sit in a circle and apply green, brown, black, and tan paint to their faces. Now that they're camouflaged, why not take them outside for a game of hide and seek? 7) Kids love to draw. Just put a stack of paper and a few colored pencils on the kitchen table and they'll be quiet all afternoon. I urge the kids to sketch blueprints for secret underground military installations. 8) Here's a fun game. It's called Hotel. You pretend that you're the manager of a first class resort and the children are the housekeeping staff. This is a smart way to get them to clean their rooms while allowing them to use their imaginations at the same time. 9) Teach the children Morse Code, and practice sending fun messages back and forth.& &--------------------------------------& &recipies=MREs, or Meals Ready to Eat, are vacuum-sealed food pouches issued by the United States Military for soldiers in combat. These survival foods are not only delicious, but are also easy to prepare. And if stored at proper temperatures, they can last for over seven years. Yummy! Here are some of my favorite MRE recipes. Chicken Tetrazzini With Mashed Potatoes For this recipe you'll need: Open your supply case of MREs and remove the plain brown pouch marked "Chicken Tetrazzini." Place pouch in pot with water and bring to a boil. While that's cooking, remove the pouch marked "mashed potatoes" from your supply case and bring that to a boil as well. When both pouches float to the top of the pot, dinner's served! BBQ Spareribs For this recipe you'll need: Drop MRE pouch marked "BBQ Spareribs" into pot of boiling water. Cook for five minutes and remove pouch. For an extra kick, cover your ribs in a military-issued packet of picante sauce. Meatloaf With Onion Gravy For this recipe you'll need: Pull the package marked "Meatloaf With Onion Gravy" out of your supply case and bring pouch to a slow boil. While this is cooking, why not open a nitrogen-sealed pack of dehydrated peanut butter. Just mix the powder with cold water and watch as it slowly begins to resemble actual peanut butter. This is a quick snack before your meatloaf is ready to eat. If MREs don't sound appealing to you, here are some other recipes your kids will love. Ants On A Log. For this recipe you'll need: If your kids won't eat ants, use raisins instead. Spread peanut butter along one side of a celery stick and put ants or raisins on top of the peanut butter. It's a healthy snack the kids will love. Popsicles For this recipe you'll need: Fill the ice tray with fruit punch and cover with plastic wrap. To make the popsicle sticks, poke a toothpick through the plastic wrap for each individual cube. Place the ice tray in the freezer for three hours or until cubes are frozen. You'll have an icy cold treat for warm summer days. Ice Cream Sandwich For this recipe you'll need: As the name suggests, this is a sandwich. So using a spoon, place three scoops of ice cream between two slices of bread and enjoy. For a warm sandwich, try toasting the bread first.